Addiction
April has suffered from addiction since 2001. She is now a recovering addict but still an addict nonetheless. Addiction does not go away; there never comes a point when she can sensibly use alcohol and drugs. Her life becomes unmanageable by making poor decisions, being totally and utterly self-centered and lying to people she loves. She was able to stop using only once she realized she is powerless over her addiction.
-April
-April
New Beginning ©
By: April R. Pierce
I’ve been lost for so long
Not knowing where I’m going
Tossed around like autumn leaves
Secretly battling wars
Shame and fear consume me
Attempting to break the chains
Personal strength evades me
When life falls apart
I drop to my knees
Realizing Jesus is who gives me strength
I reach for his hand
Crying out for mercy
Wishing I had never opened that door
The euphoria and glamour were lovely in the beginning
Regret washes over me
As I comprehend that door will always be slightly ajar
I’ll survive and prosper
I’ll be free one day at a time
I’ll allow Jesus to guide me
By: April R. Pierce
I’ve been lost for so long
Not knowing where I’m going
Tossed around like autumn leaves
Secretly battling wars
Shame and fear consume me
Attempting to break the chains
Personal strength evades me
When life falls apart
I drop to my knees
Realizing Jesus is who gives me strength
I reach for his hand
Crying out for mercy
Wishing I had never opened that door
The euphoria and glamour were lovely in the beginning
Regret washes over me
As I comprehend that door will always be slightly ajar
I’ll survive and prosper
I’ll be free one day at a time
I’ll allow Jesus to guide me
Blurred memories ©
By: April R. Pierce
Looking at you breaks my heart
Seeing the choices you make
Knowing there is nothing I can do
I'm frightened you'll be gone too soon
I worry you'll get sucked in
That's what happens in that life
I used to be where you are
Lost, having fun while it lasts
Blurred memories
Avoiding life
I don't want you to experience my pain
The heart aches
The pain
The sorrow
The betrayals
I stand back, watching
Silent, I observe
Connecting the dots
No matter what I'll always love you
By: April R. Pierce
Looking at you breaks my heart
Seeing the choices you make
Knowing there is nothing I can do
I'm frightened you'll be gone too soon
I worry you'll get sucked in
That's what happens in that life
I used to be where you are
Lost, having fun while it lasts
Blurred memories
Avoiding life
I don't want you to experience my pain
The heart aches
The pain
The sorrow
The betrayals
I stand back, watching
Silent, I observe
Connecting the dots
No matter what I'll always love you
Stop that song ©
By: April R. Pierce
I cannot do this dance
This dance with the devil
This dance with life
It plagues me
Gnawing at me,
To come and play
Leave me alone, I beg
This mess was created by me
Reckless Behavior
Haphazard decisions
Addiction is cunning
Addiction is rotten
Addiction is lurking
It can be conquered
With continued foot work
Passionately wanting a better way to live
Only when I realize I am powerless
Only then, can I end that song,
That plays in my head
I am free, once I make that choice
The choice to let go of the bondage
I can live a beautiful life, one day at a time
Always nurturing my mind
Never abandoning my foot work
Because addiction is lurking
By: April R. Pierce
I cannot do this dance
This dance with the devil
This dance with life
It plagues me
Gnawing at me,
To come and play
Leave me alone, I beg
This mess was created by me
Reckless Behavior
Haphazard decisions
Addiction is cunning
Addiction is rotten
Addiction is lurking
It can be conquered
With continued foot work
Passionately wanting a better way to live
Only when I realize I am powerless
Only then, can I end that song,
That plays in my head
I am free, once I make that choice
The choice to let go of the bondage
I can live a beautiful life, one day at a time
Always nurturing my mind
Never abandoning my foot work
Because addiction is lurking
Reclaimed Life ©
By: April R. Pierce
He looked so gorgeous
So fascinating
Glamorous
Such a tease
He put me at ease
With his soft skin
He made my head spin
My heart flickered with love
He taught me who I am
He loved me through everything
Never once judged
When I tried getting away
He held on tight
With all his might
Digging his teeth into me
I cried to be set free
He begged me to stay
Just for today
I asked his name,
As I pretended to care
He whispered "addiction"
Too much to bare
I walked away
My life is mine to reclaim
The Mirror ©
By: April R. Pierce
The moment I looked in the mirror
I didn't see me
I didn't see that girl,
The girl people loved
The life of the party
The one who was quiet at first
The girl who pretended she had it all
That girl at your school
The girl you talked to at work
The moment I looked in the mirror
I didn't see me
I didn't see the girl my family knew
I wasn't the church going girl
I wasn't your best friend
The moment I looked in the mirror
I saw someone it created
I saw a person looking back at me
A girl who was tired
A young woman who hadn't slept in days
A lost, broken woman
The moment I looked in the mirror
I knew I made a terrible mistake
I knew a piece of me died when I saw my face
I had opened a door to a lovely place
A sweet, euphoric place
Where I could forget my life
A darkness overtook me
A force stronger than me
The moment I looked in the mirror
I knew I needed a change
I told it to leave and never come back
As it walked out of my life I yearned for more
I stayed strong and never looked back